Tuesday, April 12, 2011

For those who were wondering what happened to my

This is hard for me to write
but here it goes...

I am not really sure where to start with this or how it happened, but it did.  

I just stopped.
I gave up.
I threw in the towel.
I had no motivation.
I had no desire.
I lost my mojo or whatever you want to call it.

It simply just went away.

There are a couple of things you should know about me...
When I do something, I REALLY do it.
I really dedicate my life to it. 
Sometimes it takes over my life and it becomes the only thing I can think about.  
It becomes the only thing I do. 
I neglect all of my other responsibilities.  
I become obsessed
I have done this many times before
I can bake and bake and bake
I can exercise, and exercise, and exercise
But then something happens
My motivation just dies and I stop doing what I loved so much
I never question myself and I just move on to the next thing (If there is anything to move on to)

When I went to see my family in MD a few weeks ago, I continued to take a picture everyday
However, I did not have time to be obsessed with photography
I didn't spend time editing photos, writing my blog, or checking every photography page.
It was sometime after my husband's birthday that it just happened.
 I had no desire to take a picture everyday
I didn't want to carry my camera with me everywhere I went
I stopped thinking about how something would make a great photo
I rarely looked at other photos online

I didn't know why, but I just didn't care

This is the first time that I have ever TRULY regretted just stopping
I promised myself at the beginning of the year that I would complete this project.
I have let myself down. I should have taken a photo everyday, even if it was a photo of the crack in the floor.
  I am upset with myself because I should have celebrated my 100th photo with my fellow 365ers
However, I have just decided to get myself together and pick-up where I left off.  I will just be a few days behind, but I promise that I will see you at the finish line.


I want to thank everyone, especially my husband, for your encouragement. Without you guys, this would probably be another things that I started, but never finished.

So here is where I left off...

March 29, 2011
Black Bottom Cupcakes
(Check out the Recipe on Williams-Sonoma.com)

March 30, 2011
Flashlight Lighting

March 31, 2011
Behind the Lens: A Self Portrait

I missed a day here

April 2, 2011
It should be 92/365
Baby Elie Wolf
6 months old

April 3, 2011
Philadelphia Skyline from Fairmount Park

April 4, 2011
Oreo Cupcakes

April 5, 2011
Birthday Apple Fritters

This was probably one of the BEST desserts I've ever made.  I finished it with Vanilla Ice Cream and some homemade Dulce de Leche drizzle

April 6, 2011

I missed April 7, 8, 9, and 10

April 11, 2011
96/365 (This should be my 100th.  My milestone)

April 12, 2011
My Final Project: Portraits using only natural light through a window

I know I am a good photographer, but I want to be great.
I am looking forward to the rest of the year!



Arlene said...

don't be so hard on yourself, everyone goes through these phases. Project 365 is hard hard work... I felt the same way when I went on vacation to Tampa but I, like you, picked up the pieces and carried on. I'm glad you decided to continue. I love your pictures, you have an amazing gift...

Elena said...

Everyone goes through things like these or loses motivation. It takes work to keep it up. I'm really proud of you for deciding to take it back up again, I've missed looking at your new pictures. You really are a wonderful photographer. :) And those cupcakes look amazing!

Joe said...

Glad your back! I usually quit right after I attain some goals and then I get bored as there is nothing to strive for. With this 365 I have a ways to go before that should happen. And as you stated take a shot of a crack in the floor just to have that shot for the day, then move on to tomorrow. You have a talent for photography so I hope you continue using it.

noreen said...

I am so glad to see you back. I just thought you were quite busy with life. You're not the only one who experienced things like that. I, too for one. It's even harder on my part because I work full time and when I come home, I am tired from work and it's about the time that I have to spend time with my family. Just take this project easily. And don't be too hard on yourself.
I have missed you and your photos and your constant comments/critiques on mine...Hang in there, Missy!! It'll all be alright...:)
Oh about my 100th photo, I did not use any HD filter or any HD thing. I just cropped it, reduced the noise using Camera Raw and sharpen it..That's about it...:)

Bek said...

I'm glad you are back! It is a l o n g project and it can be difficult to find something every day. Love your cupcake photos!

Rachel said...

Wow, great pics, and those cupcakes all look so yummy!

Don't beat yourself up about it...you just do what you need/want to do. It's funny, but I totally lost my motivation, too. I don't even know if I'll be able to continue with my 365. Sigh. We'll see! But I'm glad I'm not the only one faltering, LOL! But good job on your determination! I'm proud of you!